You have probably heard about instant 'bonding' with your baby and you may be feeling somewhat disappointed that this magical delivery room moment did not happen to you. That is actually so much gobble-d-gook and more than half of new mothers will tell you that feeling connected takes just a bit longer. Yes, it will be love at first sight, but learning to understand your baby's cries, your son or daughter's immediate needs and feeling that connection that only a mother and child can have takes a little time. This is a learning experience for both of you, especially if you are a first time Mom, have not spent a lot of time around babies, and have not actually been wholly responsible for one before. Anxiety and worry can escalate to such a point that you feel anxious or depressed all the time. Be patient. Empathy with your little one will help immensely. Just imagine how it must be not to be able to communicate by any means except crying. As a newborn and up to the point where your son or daughter can start reaching for something or telling you what it is they desire, crying is how it's done. So, simply learn the different cries your baby makes. At first there will be the hungry cry, the dirty or wet diaper cry, the cranky cry or the 'I'm in pain cry'. There also might be the 'I'm too cold cry'. So, you learn by trial and error. You just keep trying to make your baby comfortable until such time as something works. In time you will learn to identify the different sounds and really look forward to smiles and cooing, when that starts happening.
Baby's also love and need to suck. This is what they do. It is perfectly natural and some doctors even recommend a pacifier, especially at bed time, as there is evidence to suggest that using a pacifier may reduce the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). But, doctors are also quick to say that you should not put the pacifier back in your baby's mouth if he or she is still asleep after it falls out. If the 'binky' is unavailable, then a clean finger is a good substitute and as your little one grows, he or she will no doubt find that thumb or finger of his or her own. There is no need to be worried about children's reliance on the pacifier as most will voluntarily give it up on their own. If your child doesn't and you feel you need to break them of it, break them from the bottle first and then move onto the pacifier. This can be a really tough time for all, so be prepared...but this is at least a year off yet. For the most part, making your baby feel secure and loved and in a stable environment will make their going without the pacifier much easier.
Hearing your little one cry can be extremely frustrating and exhausting. Your partner, or even pre-teen and teen age siblings can help out. You might want to enlist the help of a well-known teen in the neighborhood if you do not have a partner at home with you or other family members that are available to help out. And...if all else fails....which means that you know your baby just ate, that his or her diaper is dry, that a diaper pin is not sticking him or her and that he or she is not running a fever...then set your baby down in the crib or in the infant seat, take a short break to go to the bathroom, or to have a quick cry yourself, take a few deep, calming breaths and then go back to your child. It will not hurt him or her in the least. On the other hand, if the crying sounds like shrieking and he or she seems to be in pain, or if your baby has stopped gaining weight or has a fever, or if the colicky symptoms go on past 3 months, then make an appointment with your pediatrician. It can be hard to pin point issues, especially if this is your first child, but if symptoms persist, then you should persist also.
A few words about fever. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and most pediatricians agree that a normal temperature for a baby is between 97° and 100.4°F. If a rectal reading is above this, your baby has a fever. You also need to be aware of other factors such as behavior and appearance, as these can be really helpful in diagnosing a problem. Sometimes a slight fever is a sign that your baby is fighting an infection, which can be a good thing. Also keep in mind that everyone's temperature rises in the late afternoon and early evening and usually falls between midnight and early morning. Guess when doctors get the most calls about fevers! The best advice is to ask your pediatrician when he or she thinks you should be worried about a fever. In most cases, if your little one is under 3 months old and has a temperature above 100.4°, it is considered worrisome enough to have him or her checked. For babies between 3 and 6 months, the threshold is 101°F and for babies 6 months or older it is 103°F. Regardless, if infant formula Tylenol or Motrin (sometimes one will work if the other doesn't) does not bring the temperature down, then call the doctor and be prepared to give the time it started, what medication you have given and what results it had and if there are any other symptoms, such as not eating, being listless, or if he or she is noticeably flushed or pale looking. Any dramatic changes in behavior or appearance should be reported when accompanied by a fever. And, for peace of mind, if you cannot deal with 'not knowing' that everything is okay, then by all means, call the pediatrician. They are quite used to new parents, and in fact, will expect calls from you if you are a new parent.
Along with being a proud papa, Joseph enjoys writing and gardening. One of his favorite web sites is Garden Harvest Supply which offers seed planters and pepper plants for sale.
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